11-JAN-2012 :(

I started to feel everything has changed with the words you said to me, I have no idea how to say i have no idea what to do, all i can say is "WHATEVER" I am weak, always down when i see things which i don't like. Hope u can seat down and read ur own mind.
i really don't know how to say and really don't know what to do anymore, all i do i ardy do, all i said i ardy said. The one who hurt me more than my self is You. Going out with strangers all i told you not to go out with but u still go out with them. anyway yeah whatever it is before i leaving to UK, i spend all my time with you. Do i give space to other to come out with me ? ask ur self. Do your self think each time whn u did something that will make me feel unhappy, u will always think i will forgive ? sometimes things we cannot forgive but we can do is ignore ! TODAY 11-1-2012 is the first page of bad story starts. I will never see more than what u do out there. Maybe we not suit to be together because everything you do u always think that i can accept and will listen to ur explanation. Sorry you were wrong. All i can accept is a girl that can listen to my words and do things which i always can feel protective. But not everything seem going badly i don't know how u gonna bring it on. DO YOU THINK THAT YOU SHOULD MAKE UR SELF BETTER ?. somehow u nvr know how much i afford to take out for you to buy things which you needed in macau. and the last pieces of notes in my wallet also i take it out for you. Some how what else u need some more ? until now what u still expect me to do ? what u want somemore ? tell me la !!! i try not to tell ppl what happen to me and what is going on btw me n u. Why until now u still using friend words to hide something from me.. Im enough for everything. I will still go on with my life and somehow i will fly back to UK. If things doesnt work out, i can feel that you always got a second person to waiting to go tooooo.........ask ur heart. tell ur self what u were doing ???......

Life always be easy if u make a right decision

lonely and sad my mood again swings
with a wish that if I had wings
in a flash I would fly
high and high in the sky

happy and free in the clouds
where glee and joy knew no bounds
to a land unknown of grief and dismay
and make my heart feel happy and gay
where anger and frown never stayed a while
and faces around were glued with a smile

but in my head now i hear a scream
its time to come out of the dream
into the world full of bodies without a soul
and in their hearts a deep dark hole

this is nothing but a pity
that now I’am back into reality
with no clouds around and no wings
stress and boredom is all that stings

lonely and sad now I silently cry
I wish I had wings and I could fly..!!!